Seed

it's coming out tonight [week 52]

2008-12-29T18:27:00.002-06:00

Last song! I'm finally free of my cage! I am really liking this one.

I want to know you
I want to know your mouth
I want to know your hand
With mine and without

Under my hair are the things you said
I'll keep them safe and I won't be read
But oh, it's coming out tonight

I want to tell you
I want to clear the air
I want to seal my fate
Even if you don't care

Under my hands are your little moves
I'll keep them safe and I won't be uncouth
But oh, it's coming out tonight

You could forget your name
I will do the same
We could be gone by light
And be us by night

Oh, it's coming out tonight

dream number 7 - [week 51]

2008-12-22T03:44:00.002-06:00

a song about a dream that didn't happen.

Me and your ghost hanging out in the parking lot
Drinking the alcohol left in your car
I say to him do you like what you see
He gives me his cheek
But he looks just like me

You were a man I thought that you might be good
Till he lifts up my skirt just to give me some room
I try to slap him but you know he's not there
My hand's coming back at me
Through his thin air

Up rides a mouse on a bike with his friend
But his friend is a cat and I want to tell him
But the mouse is all smiles and I can't break his heart
And the cat stares at me like he'll rip me apart

Me and your ghost hanging out in the parking lot
Watching the bicycle scribble away
I say to him that I need to go home
But he's already gone
And I'm all alone

how are you [week 50]

2008-12-14T15:02:00.003-06:00

Is it safe to say nobody gives a shit?

You're about as good as nothing
And despite what I do, it's growning
And I talk to it in the light like you're supposed to do
Whispering things I wish you would say
Like how are you
How are you
How are you
How are you

I am on the sidelines like I should be
It's not like you lied or promised anything
But I think of you fighting the things you're supposed to do
Walking this way, then you say
How are you
How are you
How are you
How are you

Let's just be real about this whole thing
It's nothing
Let's just be real about life
They're watching
And I'm drinking the wine in hopes I forget myself
Maybe in time I won't need such shitty help

Not like it matters
Not like it matters
Not like it matters

the bitterness of it all [week 49]

2008-12-07T14:25:00.003-06:00

So after getting bit in the face by a dog this week, I've had zero motivation. Therefore this song is the positively latest it can be.
My life is spiraling right now.

Even when you come on strongly
I shy away
Even when I'm sad and lonely
I can't today
The bitterness of it all
I tuck in your hand
Close your fingers down upon it
Looking at you now
I think I understand
I could never be open

If you were some stormy weather
I'd be the bay
Hunker down when you pass by me
Watch you fade away
But I kind of like the rain
And I kind of think you're saying
I am what you're really wanting
I made it up in my head
Late at night in bed
Now it's forever haunting

You, you go away
Come again some other day
You, you go away
Maybe some other day

more commonly known [week 48]

2008-11-25T20:45:00.002-06:00

It seems lately that I have to sneak these songs into my busy schedule. Still, I like this one.
I'm feeling so inferior lately in everything that I do. My biggest fear in life is that I am a fake.

More commonly known
As your stepping stone
Usually perched on
The tree in your front lawn

Hunters come and they want me, want me
You will find it's that same way for you one day

I'm singing songs
As you walk out at dawn
Humming a killer hook
Maybe I'll snare a look

Guitar players come and they want me
You will find it's that same way for you one day

I'm leaning over
The edge of your shoulder
Come on, come on
Come on, come on

Hunters come and they want me, want me
Guitar players come and they want me
You will find it's that same way for you one day

hungry [week 47]

2008-11-20T19:23:00.003-06:00

So fucking exhausted by my schedule. Here's yet another one.

Like I don't know anything
Like you like my suffering
Like I'm singing someone's song
Like I'm getting it all wrong
You're hungry

Funny statements after dark
When you're driving in my car
I should keep my big mouth shut
You should know you're not that fun
You're hungry

[You'd say you don't mean it
You'd say you'll make it up to me
Back when I was just a girl
I used to think that we'd
Fall out of the open air
And always be sunny]

Like that word has crossed your mind
Maybe more than a million times
Like I've played it in my head
Like I've changed my mind instead
You're hungry

love comma me [week 46]

2008-11-12T19:15:00.003-06:00

I love this one. I wrote it in my car on the way home from picking up some film today. Sometimes those are the best ones; the ones based on a vision of a song.

Someone
Meant well
Someone meant well
I don't care
Can't you tell

These are
Stories
These are stories
I don't care
Boring

{That's messed up dude
That's messed up dude
That's messed up dude
That's messed up dude}

Let's be
Together
Let's be together
Not much better

I've made
Mistakes
I've made mistakes
How many more can you take

{That's messed up dude
That's messed up dude
That's messed up dude
That's messed up dude}

Love
Comma
Love comma me

Love
Comma
Love comma me

opposite [week 45]

2008-11-04T23:00:00.003-06:00

Got a new classical guitar. It feels soooo much better. I feel like a real guitar player on this thing.
The song did not come easy. I almost fell asleep. I can always tell how tired I am by playing guitar. It relaxes me.

You see me and I see you
I am like a butterfly soup
You are more a dragon stew

I ride by on my bicycle
I am like a cloud
You are more a car sound

{Oh when will I see you again
Oh when will I
Oh when will I know what to do until then}

Saw you at the deli
I was getting bread
You were getting meat instead

Hey, what's up with that
You are more like fuck that

{Oh when will I see you again
Oh when will I
Oh when will I know what to do until then}

You say bye and I say hi
You are like the ground
I am more like falling down

You say 'mornin' I say goodnight
You punch out the ceiling light
Another day of this fight
Well, goodnight
Goodmorning
Goodnight

i do care [week 44]

2008-10-27T01:12:00.003-05:00

So my cousin had this little drama. Here is a song about her woes. (Excuse the out-of-tuneness)

No, you're wrong I do care
About your hands in her hair, I do
She thinks I should be happy for you

So I'm heading south
But these schemes all seem to talk out loud
I can't seem to clear these bitter clouds

But I'm trying
To get a life, to move ahead, to undo things
Worth doing
Not all of us can afford
To let go of everyone we know

little boats [week 43]

2008-10-21T00:48:00.003-05:00

Why is my life full? All the way to the brim.....
I like secrets. Here's a song about secrets.

Little boats in your head
Are floating out and off to sea
To sea, to sea, to sea
May I remind you
That you said one day here you'd be
Maybe that's the difference in me

And we are secret birds
Kept under leaves of what they've heard
They've heard, they've heard, they've heard
But you'll come flying free
Because of my audacity
Maybe that's the difference in me

[Bookish notes that seem to come my way
Of things you thought that you could say
And I pretend that I don't know you well
Will you pretend, pretend like hell
Like me, like me, like me, like me]

Little boats in your head
Are floating off and out to sea
To sea, to sea, to sea
With all their sails like clouds
Not one of them includes me
me, me

summer [week 42]

2008-10-16T18:07:00.003-05:00

So I thought I had the week off. I was sadly mistaken. It never fails. I think I'm in the clear and then all my days fill up.
I really like this one. Then I realized the chorus sounds like the beginning of "i am a lion". It always kind of ruins it for me.

You make the rules
I make the food
If there's nothing left on your plate

Summer comes
Under her thumbs
Not like you're an eligible mate

{Look here, look here
Look here, look here}

Under the sun
You've finally cum
Right beneath the sweat of her body's cake

I think I'd be okay
To see her stay
But she'll leave when the harvesting is through
And all you'll have left is me looking at you

{Look here, look here
Look here, look here
See you again}

jared john matthew / gone away [week 41]

2008-10-07T18:09:00.002-05:00

I'm jumping back in people. I've been inspired once again.

You, you're
Not gonna like me
I can bet you so

I might
Shake your hand baby
But look out below

Don't be
Mistaken by expression
It defeats the purpose

Like an
Old fashioned movie
I forget your name

{Jared, John, Matthew was it?
Letters in my brain where I kept your name
Scribble your face with my fingertips
Feel your name coming off my lips
Oh-ah, oh-ah, oh-ah-ah-ah}

Hi, hey
How are you doing
I'm okay

You bite
Down on your lip
Like I was factual

But be
Careful because
Words don't mean a thing

Someone's always confessing
Shameful things under a
False name

{Jared, John, Matthew was it?
Letters in my brain where I kept your name
Scribble your face with my fingertips
Feel your name coming off my lips}

Leaving for the station to a
Place where I can be alone I
Hear the words of someone listening
I am never on my own
Gone away
Gone away

you were [week 40]

2008-09-30T20:29:00.003-05:00

Here's a fun one.

Hide your things they come
To peel back the echoes
I'm not much to look at
But when it comes to being live
I would but it's all over the news
It's all over the news

{I used to think about
The way you always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
I used to think about
The way you always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were}

Sink your ships they come
To peel back the masts and sails
They're not much to look at
But I made them myself
And I will because I tell the tale
I tell the tale

{I used to think about
The way you always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
I used to think about
The way you always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were}

{I used to think about
The way you always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
I used to think about
The way you always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were
You were
You always were}

north [week 39]

2008-09-23T15:34:00.004-05:00

Yes for me. I've been a busy bee. Here's a song for you. Now, I've got things to do.

You might be someone
Walking down the street
You might be paper thin
Someone I'd like to meet
A doll dressed in
All your holiday clothes
Layer on layer
Just in case it snows

{Let's ride up north
And we'll finally be all alone
A pair of new shoes
And your complaints and dues and
Don't you think it's time
To finally unwind}

These birds don't like me
Walking past their homes
These birds don't like me
Not at all and it shows
A feather of
Different color, different name
Looks upon looks of
Apparent disdain

{Let's ride up north
And we'll finally be all alone
A pair of new shoes
And your complaints and dues and
Don't you think it's time
To finally unwind}

Players are hungry
For the things that we have
But players aren't willing
To fuck up this bad
But we're funny in that
We don't know their names
'Cause we've always hungered
For a different way to play the game
To play the game
To play the game

hello, see you tomorrow [week 38]

2008-09-16T18:12:00.002-05:00

So I finally feel as though I am back on my songwriting horse. Of course, I am still waaaay overly critical, but I'm getting back in the groove and that's what matters most to me.

Hey
I forgot the best of what I'm gonna say
I don't think I know the difference
Between hello and see you tomorrow

This sinking ship
All the way to the coast
I'm riding shotgun
I'm driving the boat

{Inside my mouth
I know there's much more left to say
Inside my brain
I know it's perfect
Today or could it have been yesterday}

Hey
I knew this guy the size of money
He attracted people like bees to honey
I'm a dragonfly, I don't get that guy

His fame and fortune
Nothing on the real
Means a little bit less
Than this orange peel

{Inside my mouth
I know there's much more left to say
Inside my brain
I know it's perfect
Today or could it have been yesterday
Aha, aha, aha
Or could it have been yesterday
Aha, aha, aha
Or could it have been yesterday}

Hey
The world is full of shit
And I don't think that it's gonna change
Got my direction, Got my bags
Wanna know where I'm going
Check my tags

It's nowhere near here
Maybe in my head
Just a little bit left
Close enough to dead

{Inside my mouth
I know there's much more left to say
Inside my brain
I know it's perfect
Today or could it have been yesterday
Aha, aha, aha
Or could it have been yesterday
Aha, aha, aha
Or could it have been yesterday
Or could it have been yesterday
Or could it have been}

come on [week 37]

2008-09-09T20:02:00.002-05:00

Sigh. I'm completely overwhelmed! Ugh. Why must it always be like this? It's not that I'm overwhelmed, it's just how I'm reacting to it. Like headaches, backaches, blah-aches. Bleh. I just need to relax and find my zen. and blah, blah, blah. So here's a song while I'm doing that.

From this height
You're a bird
Fumbling through the clouds and the absurd

I throw bread
To get you down
Humming, 'cause I think you'll like the sound

{So come on
Get over here
Come on
Get over here
Come on
Get over here}

I am bored
Of this scene
On second thought don't return to me

But you swoop down
Overhead
The closer you get to me, the closer you are to dead

{So come on
Get out here
Come on
Get out here
Come on
Get out here}

[Oh go on and save yourself
What's the point of dying, dying
Dying, Dying]

This old thing
I call hope
Has gone, has gone and left us
Left us both

{So come on
Get out here
Come on
Get out here
Come on
Get out here}

{So come on
Get out here
Come on
Get out here
Come on
Get out here}

Oh go on and save yourself

my big hope [week 36]

2008-09-02T22:41:00.003-05:00

I am a horrible storyteller. I get caught up in the details, or I get too wordy. Well here I am trying to tell you a story. If you get it, you get it. If not, it's a song about killing the wrong person. And it was the girl she wanted, not the guy.

Cars on the road
All the way they go
Off into the night
On the wings of pavement
Take flight

You were all strapped in
Complimenting others
I was just a figment
Lonely in the shadow
Of your lover

{My big hope
With the big tent goes
Goodbye, goodbye}

Skin, yes, fields of skin
Taking off her dresses
You were very much involved
I would only clean
Up your messes

I was waiting in the room
When you came up for air
Took a stab into the darkness
When I knew that you were there
Were there

{My big hope
With the big tent goes
Goodbye, goodbye}

Just to touch your dress
Just to get him out
But in the knife has gone home
Now you're the one I must
Live without

yes we were [week 35]

2008-08-28T19:45:00.003-05:00

So on top of everything this week, I had to move. It's Thursday and we're just cleaning the old house. We've been moving non-stop since Saturday. I HATE moving with a passion. BUT, I like our new house. So here's the first song written in my new house.

We were friends, no we were lovers
Yeah that means that we held hands
Not just crossing streets and bridges
Sometimes when we would just stand
Yes, we were

You'd count hearts as they were breaking
I would too but I'm not blind
You were almost always faking
I was almost always lying
Yes, we were

Caught you with your heart on your sleeve
Not just when you were with me
I purposely looked away
Victims are easy to be
Yes, it was

You were full of shit when you said
I was nothing without you
But hindsight is 20/20
What you said might be half-true
Yes, it was
Yes, we were

crook [week 34]

2008-08-21T15:39:00.002-05:00

I've been literally writing, then immediately recording. I finally finish one project only to be consumed by the next. Ugh.

You were right 'bout what you said
Now there's all these things stuck in my head

You're a criminal but much too late
'Cause there's already thugs past the gate

{Waiting for my direction
Waiting for
These things I don't do anymore}

I believed someone else
There were so many stories to tell

You're a crook all painted up
And you're wearing those clothes that I love

{Waiting for my direction
Waiting for
These things I don't do anymore}

[Why don't you come on over here, over here
I'll tell you what I think of you, think of you]

Shut up, I don't care
Anymore how we make such a pair

I've called home, I'll be gone
Just as soon as my ride shows up in your front lawn

{Waiting for my direction
Waiting for
These things I don't do anymore}

some hearts [week 33]

2008-08-13T16:24:00.004-05:00

Today I chose a word from a magazine and decided to write. Sometimes it works as a theme, sometimes it's just a word in the song. Today it inspired the first two lines. I'm already considering changing a lot of lines into something a little more enticing. It's a bit boring to me. I wish my time would come back. I promise, soon I will be back in the middle of all this!

Some hearts work fully
Some hearts work foolishly
Mine is almost there

Fingers on steering wheel
Fingers are meant to feel
I am almost there

{As much apart as last time
I can fold up all your things}

Walking all alone
Walking all on my own
I am almost there

Stepping up the front porch
Stepping up, moving forth
I am almost there

{As much apart as last time
I can fold up all your things}

Knocking and ringing
Knocking on, 123
Hello, is someone there

Hiding man in the window
Hiding man, I see you go

Is anyone there
Is anyone there, there, there, there

go to it [week 32]

2008-08-05T19:19:00.002-05:00

Not sure what this one's about. You figure it out.

On your nightstand
Sits my headband
Gathering dust
Looks like we must

{Go to it
Go to it
Oh, go
Go to it}

Baby's always scared
Of your judgement
Always impaired
Thoughts abundant

{Go to it
Go to it
Oh, go
Go to it}

[You might be a fucker
But I already know
I already know]

How you do things
Like you're sizing
Me up and down
Watch out I'm bound to

{Go to it
Go to it
Oh, go
Go to it
Go to it
Go to it
Oh, go
Go to it}

[You might be a fucker
But I already know
I already know]

so what [week 31]

2008-07-28T18:42:00.002-05:00

A song from the standpoint of a dick.

So what if I'm lonely
So what if I care
So what if I'm happy
When nobody's there

All these selfish things
All these stupid scenes

{I guess, I guess
I pulled the trigger
I guess, I guess
This one is bigger than you let on
You let on}

I paint you a picture
Of the things I destroy
I make you believe me
When I say I wish I didn't do it no more

All these selfish things
All these stupid scenes

{I guess, I guess
I pulled the trigger
I guess, I guess
This one is bigger than you let on

I guess, I guess
So much for the lovers
I guess, I guess
We'll just be brothers
Then you'll move on
You'll move on}

[Oh, hopefully
Oh, this set of rings
Oh, these lullabys
Hug me at night]

So what if you're dying
I will act like I care
So what if you're begging
When I'm the only one there

Oh, you selfish thing
Oh, your stupid suffering

{I guess, I guess
I pulled the trigger
I guess, I guess
This one is bigger than you let on

I guess, I guess
So much for the lovers
I guess, I guess
We'll just be brothers
Then you'll move on
You'll move on}

like they say [week 30]

2008-07-22T23:48:00.002-05:00

Been having some anxiety issues. A song about me and my problems that escalate so far, I cause health complications in my body.

You're making the most
Of what I have
And everyone
Says it's bad, bad, bad
It's bad, bad, bad

In this current condition we are in
I will pull the rope
And every thing's coming at me

{Maybe I got it wrong
Everyone on the switch
Maybe I got it wrong
Like they say, like they say
Ain't that a bitch}

I feel the turn
Without the window
We escalate
Till we are bone, bone, bone
We're bone, bone, bone

Neither here nor there nor underneath me
I will pull the rope
And everyone's staring at me

{Maybe I got it wrong
Everyone on the switch
Maybe I got it wrong
Like they say, like they say
Ain't that a bitch
Ain't that a bitch}

[Nothing but my expectations
Nothing but my expectations
Nothing but my expectations]

{Maybe I got it wrong
Everyone on the switch
Maybe I got it wrong
Like they say, like they say
Ain't that a bitch
Ain't that a bitch
Ain't that a bitch}

My last verse
My constitution
Weak and petty
My resolution

Bad, bad, bad

you told me so [week 29]

2008-07-16T18:18:00.002-05:00

about a know-it-all saying it's not going to work. then with that attitude, it doesn't. it's all in the way you project yourself. what can i say? i've been watching the dog whisperer too much.

Hurry up, hurry up
Outside, outside
To the cup, to the cup
I pour my drink then I'm gone

To the car, to the car
Going, going
To the stars, to the stars
I fill my tank then I'm gone

{You told me, you told me, you told me so
Now you know}

Brush my teeth, brush my teeth
Rinsing, rinsing
Looking up, looking up
I see my face then I'm gone

Remembering, remembering
Dancing, dancing
To the song, to the song
You always said was all wrong

{You told me, you told me, you told me so
Now you know}

[Aaaah, aaah, aaah, aaaah]

Single file, single file
Brush pile, brush pile
All these things will soon be gone

{You told me, you told me, you told me so
Now you know}

[Aaaah, aaah]

my favorite [week 28]

2008-07-08T14:51:00.003-05:00

A quick little diddy seeing as my life has taken a turn for the tumultuous and obligated route. Yuk.

Sunny skies are ruined by the clouds
It's my favorite kind of day
Photographs uncovered by the glass
It's my favorite kind of thing

Nothing much to say dear
Nothing much to see here

Nails finely groomed are shattered
It's my favorite kind of hands
Ice on all the things that matter
It's my favorite kind of way to think about

Nothing much to say dear
Nothing much to see here

holidays are for wimps [week 27]

2008-06-30T19:06:00.002-05:00

I had this sudden clarity just now that one day I'll look back at this blog and see all these songs I wrote and think, damn, those were shitty songs. But maybe not. I know I like two of them so far. Maybe I'm just ultra-picky.
Holidays are for wimps means exactly what it says it means. Coming from a work-a-holic, it should be expected.

He goes on and on about all the things he doesn't like
I try to make it better then I try to make it worse out of spite
And he says, sing that song that you sing
Otherwise don't say a thing
And I sing, ahhhh
Holidays are for wimps

I've got my paperwork and I've got my schedule in my brain
It's enough to make a more simple man go insane
Paperclips turn me on
If you don't know where I'm coming from
I sing, ahhh
Holidays are for wimps

Oh my little man you seem to
Be lost in routine
Just randomize like you used to
Just synchronize and get used to

We are both talkers and walkers when we are alone
But separate us and we lack the sensation that we are full grown
Sing that song that we sing
Otherwise we say everything
Ahhhhh
Holidays are for wimps

under the weather [week 26]

2008-06-25T13:03:00.003-05:00

Okay so no matter how hard I try to post my song on this little player it's not working. Bleh. So I'll just guess that eventually it will appear. My songs about relationships used to be so happy and cute. Now I want to say bad things but... I'm not too sure of myself just yet to do that. I'm still beating around the bush.

You and I already met
Showed our teeth and then we went our way
I got from you two things
You're impatient and a little insane
And hungry

{You and me
We like things just a little bit under the weather}

You and I have seen the years
Donned our coats and hats and met the days
I got from this two things
I'm impatient and a little insane
And hungry

{You and me
We like things just a little bit under the weather
You can see
All these scars so you know that it's gonna get better}

You got your car, I got mine
At any time you could flee
Make a fire in the grass
Burn the things that remind you of me

But your keys hang on the hook
You're not going anywhere
Even though you might give it a second look

{You and me
We like things just a little bit under the weather
You can see
All these scars so you know that it's gonna get better}

will you, would you [week 25]

2008-06-17T12:27:00.001-05:00

It's a song about someone who is finally ready to be with someone else after being in a stable relationship for so long. She still carries over that need for commitment, yet she knows it's impossible in a situation such as this. Do you think I should start also putting the lyrics here?

and so [week 24]

2008-06-09T22:41:00.001-05:00

this is a song about homeless people. it's been floating in my head for a good week. just came to me as we were driving home from some show.

halloween [week 23]

2008-06-04T01:08:00.005-05:00

Welcome to a song blog without the song posted just yet (1:08am).
I wrote this song about robbers. The old fashioned kind. Lanky, tall man with dark hair and sunken eyes. A woman who is mentally still a girl and at the switch realizing something is wrong. He wants her to join him, at least she thinks so, but maybe he's got a different agenda...
It was a good workout to write in a story-esque fashion. I'm not used to that and I hope it leads me down more songwriting avenues.
Today has been everything working against productivity and cooperation. I'm talking friction EVERYWHERE!!! Ugh. Ready to be done.

hair gel [week 22]

2008-05-28T14:17:00.002-05:00

Hair gel is written about a certain someone who really could care less about us but then again one day he may and one day we may have to care about him too.
Listening to all the old songs. This will be a good album. At the end I will have everyone vote for the songs they want on a full length album if we decide to do that. Not sure yet what's to become of all this, but I am finally beginning to appreciate it.

counting pillows [week 21]

2008-05-21T01:58:00.000-05:00

Song written on a lazy day in Midland, TX. About anxiety. I wrote 2 songs this week. Not so sure how I feel. Songwriting has been up and down and I cry half the time and I enjoy the other half. Ugh.

grackles want nothing more than to kill us over dirty diapers in the walmart parking lot (mall) [week 20]

2008-05-13T00:57:00.002-05:00

indigenous donkeys

hats [week 19]

2008-05-05T18:02:00.002-05:00

This is a song about infidelity. Yes, I come from a "broken" home as well as my husband. How can you ignore the situation. I plan on exploring this subject more thoroughly. I'm not too happy with this song. You ever write a song and then replay it and just know this one is destined for the trash? That's the case with this one. That's been the case with everything. I wish I could separate that piece of me that is unbiased. Does that even exist?

over [week 18]

2008-04-29T23:08:00.003-05:00

feeling completely overwhelmed with right now. trying to concentrate on studio work and i still have to do this....
unsure about many things right now....
it feels lonely here at this blog....
kind of like i'm just talking to myself...
thinking about turning my podcast myspace into seed but really one day podcast will become more regular....
here's a song about missing my old self.

okay-o [week 17]

2008-04-22T19:04:00.001-05:00

Okay-o. A song I wrote then played the shit out of because I loved the way the chorus rolled through my fingers. But now I'm sick of it and don't believe it's worth anything. That may be the case of all these songs.
I'm afraid I got nothing. I could very well be a fake. Even I could be unaware of it...

The Good, The Bad, The Dye Job

2008-04-16T15:55:00.003-05:00

The next few weeks will be mad. In a good and bad way. GOOD - We will be in the studio starting Monday of next week!!! Wooohooo! BAD - I will have very little time to write. This could mean spontaneity or shitty songs. Ha! Either way we are going to enjoy the next few weeks aren't we? Yes.
I dyed my hair bright red. It was time for something new.

packing and unpacking [week16]

2008-04-13T20:37:00.002-05:00

yay for ukulele!

the dam

2008-04-09T15:29:00.001-05:00

I can't explain how frustrated I am with songwriting. I want so much. Maybe too much. It impairs my ability to let it flow. I've got rocks and rocks damming up my flow. I don't know how to remove them. I've been doing morning pages, going on walks, relaxing all day.... I need inspiration, a stimulant. What's it going to be? Whatever it is, I'm ready.

at your window [week 15]

2008-04-08T15:45:00.002-05:00

This song stayed in my head most of the week. After I wrote it, I immediately rejected it, but it had staying power enough to torture me into recording it. I am so impatient to become better at everything that I do. So much so, that I wouldn't be surprised if I missed it.
Next week's song will be on the ukulele! Yes.

influences

2008-04-03T00:35:00.000-05:00

if i am nothing but my influences, who am i really?

i am a lion [week 14]

2008-03-31T19:30:00.000-05:00

i'm sick. can you tell?

catch my drift [week 13]

2008-03-24T17:54:00.002-05:00

I picked up my guitar this week. I originally wrote this progression on my electric. It seems that all I want to do is write instead of practice. Natural for a songwriter. Don't really know what this song means. But for sure something subconsciously.

goodbye, goodbye [week 12]

2008-03-18T15:17:00.000-05:00

A song about the devil.

half intellegent [week 11]

2008-03-11T16:52:00.002-05:00

I wrote this at the beginning of last week and it hasn't left my head yet. I'll be doing something random and I'll realize there it is watching me over my shoulder. So here it is, down and done. I'm wanting to write, write, write on the piano but I feel I am neglecting my guitar. That's the story of my creative life so I will not give in to it. I will do what I feel like doing. If I want to solely write on piano for now, then it shall be done. I'm tired of that overbearing control freak self. Fuck it. I wish I'd have learned that earlier.
P.S. I am 28 and still in a band. Is this depressing? Not really. I don't think of my age to much. Just when someone asks and when I get carded.

the future

2008-03-08T16:29:00.000-06:00

I think I want to play piano always. Talk about being in love.

book [week10]

2008-03-04T01:25:00.003-06:00

I used to know this girl. She comes to mind every once in a while and I am always thrown when I remember the situations she put us in. Most of the time she was trying to meet random guys. They were always older. I didn't really understand her. We were the same age but it was like she was in college already and I was only moving to my freshman year in high school.
So one night I spend the night at her house. She calls some guy up and he comes to pick us up. He brings this other dude with him. I can't remember much about where we went or if we went anywhere at all. Just that at the end of the night I'm sitting in their 2 door sedan in the backseat with some guy watching my friend make out with her guy. Talk about awkward. I guess more than anything, I knew my dad would be mad if he knew my situation. So on top of all the fumbling youth, I was scared to death of what was going to happen to me.
Anyway, this song is for her.

piano song

2008-02-28T01:18:00.001-06:00

I couldn't resist. I had to write a song on piano...

happy [week 9]

2008-02-25T03:37:00.003-06:00

Okay, so I was going to cheat and use an old song. But right before I was going to open the program to record, I started playing this lick. The rest is history. 2 hour history that is. I'm starting to enjoy the recording process of these songs. It definitely has prepared me for the studio, which we start this week.

sea steps [week 8]

2008-02-19T03:18:00.002-06:00

Damn it! I kept screwing up the guitar part and having to start over on this one. I am liking this one. I've been constant on the piano, but I sat down to see what came out of my guitar and got sea steps. A song about obsession... again. Can I be obsessed about being obsessed? It's one of my obsessions. I am ultra tempted to write songs on the piano, but I can't even get through a whole song yet without saying shit. Matthew said he's ready to record my piano songs. I've been practicing some songs for the album on piano. They are working a little too well. Kind of scary. Kind of like it was meant to be on a piano and I was being set up for this the whole time...

bird shit [week 7]

2008-02-13T00:30:00.003-06:00

My favorite title so far. Wrote two songs in week 7. It seems I built to this one. I can hear strings, strings, strings in the background. It's a song about obsession. My personality flirts with obsession many times throughout. Not just major problems or major possibility. It can be the smallest thing that I will build a whole room in my head for. It happens more often than I care to mention. Lately I've been able to stave it off by my constant work load. But it's only a matter of time....

fusion

2008-02-09T22:00:00.001-06:00

It's tough to remember that the true happiness of songwriting is in the process. If I could live in that time - my mind wrapping around luscious words; savoring the bittersweetness of an imagined life; actually saying whatever I want - I would stay there forever. Natalie Goldberg says that it's all about fusing our two lives together; the one where we are "boring" and the one where we are crazy, creepy, uninhibited, and altogether different. For someone who has lived in her head for so long, it only gets harder as I get older... But maybe... more worth it everyday.

finding the time

2008-02-06T00:10:00.001-06:00

sometimes finding the time to write is really tough. like today.

the secret [week 6]

2008-02-04T19:07:00.000-06:00

a song written amongst days of work, work, and more work. a song that just happened. didn't even know what i was going to write about. just sat down with a little lick, and wrote. not extremely pleased with this song. sometimes working just promotes more working and puts creativity in the same category. i'm looking for inspiration.

?

2008-02-03T18:08:00.000-06:00

Week of confusion as far as songwriting. Don't know which song I'll use... whatever.

do not read this - complaints

2008-01-31T15:12:00.001-06:00

The computer is eating me alive. SXSW rejected us. I rolled my ankle and I am limping everywhere. Sorry, just had to get that out.

california, here i come [week 5]

2008-01-29T03:37:00.000-06:00

This song has been buzzin about in my head for the past few weeks. Sometimes when my writing is looking bleak that week, I bring in a work-in-progress and play with it. My brain needs a break every once in a while. Not to say I didn't write another song this week, because I did. It just won't suit acoustic very well.
The song itself is apart from what I normally do, in that it is very open and dreamy. I love it. Maybe because it is so different for me.

this week is hard....

2008-01-24T03:03:00.001-06:00

Writing this week has been especially hard. It seems when I try to actually pick a style to write in, it's like forcing the lid on the wrong jar. Two so far this week. I wish I had the means to TRULY record the songs the way I hear them in my head. Sometimes acoustic makes it hard to translate.

if i were meant to, i could sing the blues [week 4]

2008-01-21T19:07:00.000-06:00

I spent more time on this one during recording, but somehow, it took less time overall. Even writing the song was like channeling what was already there. I sat down and messed around, but was unsatisfied with chords and complicated shit. Then, there it was. Like it was meant for the moment. Like my mind knew what it was looking for. I showed the song to Oso, and he said it was the best he'd heard in a LONG (and he stressed that) time. Of course, it's all subjective. But I do put a lot of weight on his opinion.
This week is a lot of traveling, but I may be alone tonight. Therefore, writing time. I can only hope I am prepared.

hard

2008-01-15T02:03:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I'm just too hard on myself. Perhaps a step back from the painting will allow it to breathe.

ordered

2008-01-14T20:25:00.001-06:00

I ordered my Kawai MP8II today. I dreamt all last night of playing the piano. It came so easy.

alive [week 3]

2008-01-13T23:40:00.001-06:00

Among my habit to have more than enough, I've also got the habit of hoarding. Maybe that's the same thing. This is more like, I wrote 4 songs this week, recorded two, posted one, and I save my favorites for later. Ha! How do you like that? I was alone in the recording process this week. My marvelous Matthew was not helping, so I decided to save the prized songs I wrote this week for later.
Not to take away from this new one. It came out for no reason and as is. I had no intention of writing when this one came about. I like that it is made up purely of verse. It's more about words than anything. It's good to be in that place.

2008-01-12T18:44:00.000-06:00

Another two songs written today. WTF?

2 songs

2008-01-10T21:55:00.001-06:00

I wrote two songs in the last 2 days. And they are songs that I am actually liking. I feel a bit of meat to them. Of course it is all subjective as to who likes what. But at this point, it is only my satisfaction that I am concerned with. I took the time to sit down with my guitar and get back in tune with it. For a while, I've been a bit disconnected from an acoustic mainly because of our band situation and lack of interest from overplaying acoustic gigs. I got back to the music, it seems, over the last couple of days and I am loving it! I just had to shout for a while.

punk caravel [week 2]

2008-01-07T01:30:00.000-06:00

Going through so many pains this week. Ugh. Who would've known I'd fall victim so easily to that grand songwriting monster of doubt. It's only the second week! What a baby. I haven't written with the pressure in a long while. Now I remember.
So I really wanted to write a song with the word "punk" in it. But that is not the actual reason I wrote the song. In fact, I didn't remind myself of this till I was well into writing the chorus. I'm afraid I may have forced the chorus so don't be surprised if it comes out rewritten. As of now, it is what it is. There may be more songs with the word "punk" until I reach my final "punk" song goal. What can I say, it's the way I work.
Lately my life has been full of naysayers as well as do-gooders. (I will not pretend to ignore the good!) This song is for the naysayers. Those that laugh at us WHILE we are playing a show, those who say we're not worth the money, those who feign disinterest because of jealousy (I know this one personally so don't judge). One day....

Keys and Strings and Pens and Papers

2008-01-05T00:17:00.000-06:00

I find myself wanting to write oh so many songs as the week goes by. That must be my natural tendency. When I need one thing I make sure I've got more than enough. One song a week used to be more than enough. Things change.
I'm still on my hunt for a keyboard. Seriously thinking about dropping a butt-load on a good piano that will last me some time. Considering Yamaha, Roland, and Kawai. I was so close to buying the Kurzweil PC88, but I decided I needed something more up to date.
Tonight I confessed my desire to KNOW guitar overly well (that's the "more-than-enough" kicking in). Matt said maybe I should forget the piano and concentrate on guitar. But I've always wanted a piano for as long as I can remember. So, if my job is music, then I've got the time to become annoyingly good at both. But on top of all that, I just want to be a fierce songwriter. Is all this too much to ask?

liplock [week 1]

2007-12-27T22:43:00.000-06:00

I've already changed "steam clouds from my mouth" to "storm clouds from my mouth". I seem to want to say storm more. I've been reading British literature so the theme of the song and some of the words may sound dated. In no way do I own a stable nor have I ever really been in one. Oh, I take that back. I have. But I've never consented to making out in one. If you get a chance, read Jane Eyre. It was surprisingly captivating.
This song was recorded on my home computer. I plan on the first few weeks being this way seeing as I am saving up for a digital handheld recorder. Those suckers are pricey.

What is Seed?

2007-12-27T21:10:00.000-06:00

I am a firm believer that in every moment, God has instilled his creative vision in us. Whether it is deemed “good” by our standards is of no concern to Him. I have long been a busy bee when it comes to writing music. I can’t say I’ve loved every song I’ve ever had the pleasure of stumbling upon, but I have LOVED every minute of the PROCESS of writing the song. As I put them to voice, instrument, and paper for the first time, they are but mere sketches, blue prints of the recording that will ultimately set them in stone for me. Some songs get shaken up a bit, some stay exactly the same, and some may even lose whole pieces of themselves. I hate to admit it, but some even get trashed.
This is an opportunity for me to show you who I am as a working artist. I can’t guarantee every song will be good, smart, clever, or even comprehendable. I can’t guarantee I’ll play these songs live or ever record them again. All I can say is that these songs will be my hand reaching out and grabbing what is available to me at that moment. These songs will be seeds planted in my soil. At the end of the year, I hope to gather my best endeavors and record them with all the splendor and glory or nakedness that they deserve.
While I have seen this project before, I can say that the difference here is intimacy. I have no intention of giving you a well produced quality recording. In fact, I hope to explore my world by recording in parking lots, churches, parks, and even in friendly gatherings. I hope to give you something a bit more frank than the usual recording process.

HOW IT WORKS
Every week I will post one new song up on my website. On my myspace profile, I will post one new song on my main player where it will be available to download. From there, the rest of the songs will be available for listening through a widget on the profile. The other sites will be similar. If you want the FREE download of any of the Seed songs, you will need to subscribe to the Stephanie Briggs Word for Word podcast through iTunes.

I’ve never had a new year’s resolution. No better time than now. For the year of 2008 I will write and record a song a week and post it on my sites for your enjoyment... and I will lose weight. (That last one seems necessary to any resolution.) Here’s to a good year!